Endpoint

Well, I've reached the end of this blog. What can I say. I can never find the stuff I want to blog about, and I end up staring at a screen. No more now.

In a sense, this blog has been a way for me to let out my musings. My feelings. Even now, I still have many unvoiced feelings. Many things which I burn to say or do, but never do. Out of fear, cowardice. A foreboding of bad consequences which may or may not ensue. As would almost anyone else.

But army life has taught me to keep a diary. Plus most importantly, I have God. Wherever I walk, I know that He will teach me all things. And maybe I might even make another blog. But one thing's for sure here...

This marks the end of this blog.






EDIT: Moved! Guess I need somewhere to shout. Click here

Outward

Where was I..?


But first, ORD loh. Maybe I'll have more time to blog ^^


Anyway.

I have noticed many a time, people (admittedly, myself included!) where people put up a front. They would act differently when with others as compared to, say, when they are by themselves. Discounting performances, play-acting, prank-playing or the like, where people would premediate to entertain (or mock) an audience, people do put up an act for whatever reason, to show people a person different from themselves. And they often do succeed. Initially. But as the facade peels away, so does the person's psyche, as they either scramble to maintain and utterly fail, and fall back into their natural selves eventually, or they give up, and still fall back into their natural selves even faster. Either way, people get disillusioned, feeling like they've been tricked into believing that that person was something else.


Why?
Sometimes people think they are unfit, maybe even inadequate. They think that their peers do not like aspects of their character, and they do their best to suppress them, and then fabricate or emphasise traits which they think will turn their peers on. A generally quiet boy could become a hopping fanatic, jumping and screaming with his OG mates during Orientation camp, when honestly a good day for him, rather, would be to play a good game of checkers with a close friend. Another, more blatant display of this is a boy trying to impress a girl, but I think most of us already know how that story goes.


The above examples of showing a facade were incentive-motivated. By becoming a hopping fanatic, the boy hopes to bond with his mates better, and perhaps even make good friends with them after Orientation. By trying to impress the girl (Being more macho? Haha), he hopes to win her affection. Then there are disincentive-oriented scenarios. For example, when in a board meeting. All the department heads have to exude a sense of knowledgeability and control over their department, even if they may not feel so. If they show insecurity or confusion, their fellow heads will see it as a weakness, and his standing in the board will be diminished. In a cut-throat corporate world, it might not be surprising to see such a person ousted hastily.


What is the difference between incentive-oriented and disincentive-oriented? For the most part, it is often easier to walk away from putting up a facade for the former than it is for the latter. For example, it is easier to not show off to a girl than it is to lose your job. Additionally, in the latter, it is more out of necessity than out of personal gain that the person would put up a show.


If in a world where everyone has differing standards, it is not easy to "be yourself". What then should you do?


As far as possible, steer clear of disincentive-oriented scenarios. Many people find themselves trapped, forced to put up a show. And when it all falls apart, the result is never good. Unfortunately, "being yourself" just doesn't quite cut it in a highly competitive modern society.


The solution to that is to change yourself. Thousands of office workers attend countless self-improvement courses, attempting to become more outspoken, more confident, more charismatic. And many testify to these courses' effectiveness. The danger, however, lies in what frame of mind these office workers enter these courses with. Why do they enter such and such a course? To command better paychecks? To impress the boss? If not taken with the proper mindset, these courses could end up teaching them how to better portray the facade instead of substituting the facade, and not solve the problem at all.


One way to overcome this is to take the lessons and apply them into your daily life. By doing so, you would use what you learned so often that it would become natural to you, and you would not feel like you're putting up an act, suffice to say you're not showing a facade anymore because that's what you really are. If what you learned is generally good, such as responsibility or being considerate (say, for client and family), then the problem is well solved. What if the stuff you learned is specific?


Then it's time to cherry-pick. Decide what you want to learn, and what you do not want to.


Maintain the balance.


It's getting late. Again. Meh.

Inward

How much do you know yourself?


How ironic that despite living and knowing so many other people, you do not even know yourself. "Oh, he or she's such and such a person, who likes this and that", but yourself, you hardly stop to describe in equal detail. You do not think about what makes you you, because you know you are you simply because.


To you, there is no need to decide what or who you are. You just are. And for the good majority of your life, you will be more than happy to live in denial of that knowledge of who you really are. That is, until someone tells you.


Is it because you are afraid of what you might realize you are? That you may be of a character that you actually openly despise in others? Or perhaps, you realize that your character is not what you envision a generally good person to be.


Or is it because you are too lazy to bother? In which case, you have deciphered one part of you already.


Or maybe... it implies that you have less than complete control over your actions. Having surrendered to an identity which you inadvertently place yourself in the moment you define it. Because you are such and such a person, you should therefore act in such a way? One can say that you would have acted in that manner with or without having defined your identity anyway, but oh well.


As humans we are wired to rebel against restriction, unless a rationale which we accept as valid is provided. Even if that restriction is placed upon ourselves. The answer? We justify our character within ourselves, even if others do not approve. We will say that we are like this because of so and so. We effectively ignore peer opinion by doing so.


Whoops. It's late. More next round.

Forward March

A chapter in life has ended... for some. I still have one more month.

When I look back at the friends that I have kept, I realise that some of them... are... out of the ordinary. I've made some good friends, some bad "friends"... But most importantly, I learn from each and every one of them.

Maybe it's all about the experience. Perhaps that is what it's all about then. Learning from a mistake is the whole point of making a mistake.

I have a feeling that last sentence went wrong.

Are we?

Are you sad, O smart guy?

The more you know, the more you think you know. A new idea emerges, and you test it in your mind. You put it through your trials, your mind mashing. Processing. You understand, and pass judgment. And the idea will face either of two fates: acceptance, or rejection.

But what if you do not understand, O smart guy? Just because you are so smart doesn't mean that you know everything. What will you do then, O smart guy?

Will you treat the idea with distrust? Apprehension? Even contempt? Or will you ignore it, comforting yourself with notions that the whole idea is meaningless to you, since you cannot understand it? You are missing out on a great many things, O smart guy.

Or will you be enthusiastic? Optimistic? Hopeful? Will you consider the idea with an open mind, giving it a chance? Then you must be naïve, O smart guy, but you realize your humanity.

That is the first step. Unfortunately, by being optimistic, you are open to tricking yourself. And then you will be mocked. What then, O smart guy?

You must be sad, O smart guy.

Dead

Haven't blogged for a while.


Less to talk about. Less to expound on.


Maybe things will change when I go to uni.


ORD loh. Coming up this December XD

Wisdom Complimentary

"I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go." - John 21:18.

Maybe I'm getting old.