Distressing

I feel freaking sian. Like there's something wrong, but as to its cause, I cannot identify.


I am returning to camp tonight. To people who I am not so sure are friends anymore. Which makes the feeling even worse. People who are of the world only know the ways of the world, and can only teach you the ways of the world. Which is why I now understand. That there is no communion between me and everybody else in my bunk.


And yet there are more problems. Of the mind, of the heart. Something... closer to myself. It challenges everything that I have purposed in myself from the beginning of my enlistment.


I just came back from church camp. And I think if I am to settle myself, I should try not to let the thought float into my mind's eye too often. But I usually end up wrestling with myself in thought. And then I get all flustered and stuff.


Guess it's not easy to ignore such a cute face.